Wow. I seriously haven't updated this blog in...FOREVER. My only excuse is that life has been absolutely crazy the past couple of weeks with school ending, etc.
However, I've had more on my mind than just school. The beginning of senior year is on the brink of beginning, and I could not be more ecstatic. I am so ready to move on to a new chapter in my life, even if it is an entire year away. With senior year drawing nearer, another word has been drawing nearer to my thoughts as well: FUTURE.
Yes, thoughts of life after high school have been definitely been burned on my brain, and rightly so. However, when I think of my future, I see so many things. Too many things. Too many options, directions, and paths. So many choices to choose...or not to choose. I am totally at a loss at what I want to major in in college. I've thought my whole life about being a doctor, but honestly, I'm not sure if it will make me happy, or if it's even my destiny. I am so lost in this crazy world...I just want to find my niche, my path. And sometimes I wonder...do I even have a path to follow, or am I supposed to make my own?
It's so frustrating. For a few weeks I'll think, "Okay, I really want to do this with my life. Everything is settled now." And then I'll slowly start to wonder, "Do I REALLY want to spend the rest of my life diagnosing the common cold? Or filling prescriptions?"
I know this is not an uncommon feeling for a seventeen year old. Feeling lost is totally normal. But if you know me well, you know I like to have my ducks in a row, have everything organized, neatly organized and filed away. So the fact that I feel like I'm fumbling around in a pitch black, unfamiliar room is not only frustrating, but completely and totally mind boggling.
I know my first step to finding my way though, and it's quite simple: do I follow the path that has already been mapped for me, or do I forge a new trail?
