Faith.

Wow. It's been awhile since I've updated my blog...I should probably start doing this more often.

Well, senior year is in full swing, and is beginning the process of winding down. The Auburn acceptance letter has been received, the scholarship applications have been sent out. Now all I am left to do is wait for May 25, patiently twiddling my thumbs as the era of high school draws to a close.

One big assignment still left on the agenda, however, is the infamous Word Paper. If you go to my high school, you have heard of the ultimate rite of passage every senior must complete before being handed his or her thick diploma. Second semester of senior year, students select a word that they want to define. The students must complete the necessary research (requiring me to brave the Auburn University library for the first time), and then write a paper on what the word means in Shakespearean context, religious context, etc. Then the students must do the scariest thing of all, in my opinion: define the word in terms of what it means to them.

I originally chose the word "immortality." I began research on it, but something kept bugging me: while some students complete the necessary research, cross their T's and dot their I's, hand the paper in, and never think about it again, I wanted my word to actually mean something to me. I discarded immortality, and chose in its place "faith."

So here I am, struggling to define what the word "faith" means to me. Honestly, I'm not sure yet. I have been in so many situations just within this school year that make me question faith. Not exactly my faith in God, but my faith in people. Friendships have been lost this school year, still missing in action; people who I put all of my faith and trust into have let me down. I have been faced with more disappointment this school year than an any time I can think of. And in a way, I'm glad. I have become that much stronger, and that much more ready to begin a new chapter in my life.

While these experiences have left me to only grow stronger, I am still left asking myself: "What is faith?" Is it a belief in something so pure and so unbreakable, nothing can destroy or even make it waver? Or is it something that we place in people, beliefs, etc., that can someday be ripped away when it becomes inconvenient for us to continue to have faith?

And honestly, I don't believe faith is ever convenient. It takes lots of strength, courage, and loyalty to have faith in someone or something. That's why when faith happens, we revel in it so much; having complete faith is rare, and we should enjoy when we have the confidence to be 100% faithful in something.

I thought I was 100% faithful in a lot of aspects in my life this year, and I was wrong. I've learned the complete faithfulness in something is not going to happen every day. It may even be once in a lifetime.

But I believe when we DO find something that we have 100% faithfulness in, we should hold on to it for dear life...don't let it slip through your fingers.