The Beginning.

Well. I hopped on the blog-wagon.

I have had one of these before. I usually start it extremely enthusiastic about my new project, faithful that I will write every week, no, every day...

This, in fact, never happens. I will forget about my blog, push it to the back of my mind with the other things on my low priority list and I will never post a thing. I will return to said blog weeks, maybe even months later to write a new post, and guess what? I forgot my password. Fabulous.

I digress. Lately, the whole "starting a blog" trend has taken my school by storm, and I figured it was time to fire up the ole blog again. I usually, when thinking about what I want to write about, think, "I have absolutely nothing to say." I mean, what am I supposed to say?

"Today was pretty good. I did okay on my Pre-Cal test and blah blah blah blah."

No. No. NO. If I ever start sounding like this, figure out my password and delete this thing. Break my computer. WHATEVER. Just as long you are not bored by my pointless rambling.

So I hope my posts are meaningful in some way. Or maybe they won't be meaningful at all, just because they were written by a teenage girl who has not experienced enough in life to be wise about anything. Who knows?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about time. It's sort of hard not to think about, with everything going on in my life. Half of the time I feel like there is way too much stretched out in front of me, a never ending stretch of road I won't reach the end of for a long, long time. Other times I feel like there is not enough, and I feel like I am literally clawing onto the passing seconds just to savor them as they speed by. I'm slowing reaching the conclusion of my junior year, and all of my friends are graduating. They will be gone, entering the real world. I will be stuck in first block at 8am, guessing the months, weeks, days, minutes, seconds, until I will join them in the daunting real world.

So maybe you can see why I am feeling sort of crazy about this whole time situation. There's not enough left with my friends, but there is way too much before I finally reach the end of my own high school career. Sometimes I feel as if I can't even imagine my senior year without them. I think, "Oh, I can't wait to do that with..." I trail off, a sickening disappointment filling me. They won't be there. Sure, they'll visit. But it won't be the same.

Maybe I'm being melodramatic. I probably am. I mean, most of them will be down the road. I can visit anytime. But the fact that I won't see them every single day like I do now is sort of depressing. But life does have its ends and its beginnings. Sure, a chapter of my life is ending in the next year, but then a new one will begin.

My life without blogging is ending, but my life with it is beginning.